Setting P 101: Getting ‘the one’ to spend the rest of your life with
Finally the information session for aspiring applicants into the Lagos business school was over and it was time for some refreshment. Ade still had to make that 5 hour journey back to mainland, so an "eat and run" seemed fair enough. He had just stuffed a huge piece of pie into his mouth when a lady turned around to say hello. “Did you enjoy the information session” she continued. Still munching away and not being able to speak with a full mouth, he bobbed his head stupidly several times. She couldn’t help but to giggle at his sheepishness, he joined her too as he was nervous and felt awkward and embarrassed.
Forward five years later, they were now a couple.
Meeting people is probably not new of us, I often imagine that no matter how goofy a guy is, he should at least be able to “parole” a lady (albeit a likewise goofy one),but as it turns out many of us truly aren’t bold enough to step up to ladies. So many guys imagine women to be green eyed monsters or fire breathing dragons. While some part of this is true, (no clue why it is that way) for the most part, ladies are adorable big eyed puppies at a window display waiting to be loved. Women are also hard to piece together; You may have heard of the classic saying that when a woman says yes, she actually means no. That isnt really no news anymore! Also, women cover up their vulnerability by stressing us guys; by putting them to the test. For them it’s more like testing the waters to see how rewarding a venture is. No serious woman likes to meet a suitor halfway. They all like to be swept off their feet.
How do you meet good women?
Honestly there are no theoretically good and bad places to meet women while night clubs are not always bad choices as long as one keeps it in mind that a lady you take to your apartment on first meeting doesn’t expect you to call afterwards (google the word one night stand and you'll understand what I mean) . The key is to meeting and getting to know a woman is finding a common ground on which to start a conversation. That said, the easiest platform is always the church Aha!!
Though, you might need a bit of luck on your side that you seat beside a good looking unmarried "neighbour", since you will get to share various messages and chants from the pastor with your “neighbour”, you even get to hold hands while sharing the grace. So it shouldn’t be that difficult to score a game. Pay attention and try to capture whatever caught her interest during the service. You may ask what she thought about the music, the sermon or any other thing that went on. Honestly, you really do not have to pay attention to any she says, your sole aim is to get her number when all is said and done!
Another good place to meet women is at business seminars. Many young people who look to find purpose in their lives love to attend such meetings. Just like church, seminars are a good place to network and socialize. It also helps when the seminar was very motivating or where food was served, either ways everyone feels high spirited and eager to chat about their wonderful ideas. Again, all you need to do is nod and smile at the right pauses while she speaks and when she’s about to laugh you laugh along too.
After the first meeting, how to proceed:
Just as football formation ranges from the 4-4-2s, 4-3-3s and much more, in terms of following up after your first conversation, one golden rule stands: “don’t call, call, text, then call”
Please! Don’t call five minutes after getting her number; it’s very leechy. However, you can call 6-24 hours later to chat about her day or basically to flirt gently with her.
Random sporadic text messages always hit the mark better than programmed morning and bedtime messages. Amidst other reasons such as you not being the only one bugging her with a.m and p.m messages, it makes her imagine you were thinking about her throughout your day.
Call not later than three days (not earlier than 30 hours) after your first meeting to book a date.
Never barge into a woman’s life. If you want to ask her out on a date, the worst move is to ask impromptu. Always give them a few days in advance. And if she declines, then make it her prerogative to set a favourable time.
The first date
The first date is all about her: she does 99% of the talking; you do 99% of the listening, so try to set a balance between casual, sensual and formal.
Be formal: Get the door for her, pull out her seat, help her with her order.
Be casual: Commend her hairdo, joke about stuff, smile and be relaxed.
Be sensual: at the RIGHT time, hold her hands even if it’s for a minute, gently nudge her when she makes a joke.
By the way, the guy pays the bills on the first date, no stories!
Mind your biz and that includes her boyfriend!
There might always be another guy in a woman’s life, so stop chasing after fallow grounds only. Rather make it important to strengthen the relationship bond you two share by investing time and money (and any other resources that apply). Also, try your best to sway discussions away from her boyfriend because the more she makes you aware of her boyfriend, the more the tides turn against you.
Somehow, if you sense at any point in time that she is happy in her other relationship and shows some reluctance in pursuing a new one; then just back off, don’t be a jerk! On the other hand, Once you have formed a bond and understand each other, all which is left is to take it one day at a time.
Women are truly a complex whole; it’s no use trying to figure them out. Some enjoy seeing you get mad (not unhappy; just stupid angry mad), while some others would want to have the exclusive right to all of your time. Never the less, their love is deep and nurturing once you get to know them.
So hopefully you are reading this post in a crowded place, look around for the most likely female, Walk up to her and just say hi. It might just be your lucky break!
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